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I Hate it Here is your insider’s guide to surviving and thriving in HR, from someone who’s been there. It’s not about theory or buzzwords — it’s about practical, real-world advice for navigating everything from tricky managers to messy policies.
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Because HR shouldn’t feel like a thankless job. And you shouldn’t feel alone in it.
My Experience With The Movie
Juno is a 2007 “comedy” film which tackles the somewhat taboo and complicated subject of adolescent parenthood. I remember hearing about the movie ages ago but only having a passive interest in the film when it first came out. What moved me to finally see it was the fact that I had an assignment in my online college psychology course, asking me to find a movie or television series that portrayed romantic teenage relationships. I was then tasked with evaluating whether or not it was an accurate portrayal of real life adolescent relationships based on the statistical facts about teenage parenthood out of our textbook.
Initially, I struggled to consider which type of media would be most suitable for such an assignment, but ultimately it took me under three minutes to settle on Juno. Let me just say that had it not been for this assignment, I can’t really see any other realistic scenario when I would have eventually decided to buckle down and finally sit through this experience. I went into it expecting something goofy and lowbrow, but within a very short span of time my eyes were opened to the fact of how deep and thought provoking this movie really is! I would find myself pausing every few minutes, sometimes every thirty seconds as I began to grasp the weight and gravity of the teenage protagonist and her struggle to find dependable and supportive relationships outside of her immediate family during her pregnancy.
I would even occasionally find myself reflecting on times I had been unsure of my own decisions and goals and began to ask myself questions like “How often have I really been sure about what I want out of life?” or “How many times have I thought I wanted something (or someone) only to realize that my commitment to that person or path was only based on some kind of fear or insecurity?”. What had started out as a simple assignment turned into a personal self-reflection project! Within the first fifteen minutes of the movie, my naive assumptions were being put to bed one after another after another, as I began to realize how complex of a story this really was! It’s actually quite smart and layered and if you’re paying attention, you might realize that you identify with some of the characters, even if you don’t want to.
What Do You Really Want Out Of Life?
When I think about characters like Mark Lustig and Pauly Bleeker, I think of someone who doesn’t really know what they want out of life. They’re both very lukewarm even when it comes to responsibilities and commitments in their closest and most intimate relationships with other people. Mark in particular feels like he’s just a piece of driftwood, floating very casually through life. He never really “chooses” anything, instead things just happen to him and he decides whether or not to indulge in them along the way. In other words, Mark is an indecisive opportunist who can’t stand commitment, despite the fact that he’s married to his wife Vanessa who desperately wants to be a mom. He’s all on board for whatever, as long as it doesn’t restrict his freedom by preventing him from being the punk rock legend he sees himself as or force him to be more responsible than he actually wants to be. In the case of both characters however, they’ve each made life altering choices that they can’t easily back out of and now are hopelessly stuck with the consequences of their actions. Except that they aren’t, because they find easy ways to slip away from their responsibilities, even at the expense of the emotional well-being of their partners.
Their female counterparts Vanessa and Juno however, either struggle bravely to make the best of a bad situation or are all in on their original decision and regret nothing, regardless of what it takes to get where they want to be. Juno despite her boyfriend Paul flaking out on her is forced to tell her parents about being pregnant, decide whether or not to get an abortion, figure out who the adoptive parents are going to be when she finally decides against getting said abortion and when she does find who she thinks is the perfect couple, bonds a little bit too closely with the would-be adoptive father of her uborn child. The husband of the couple, Mark Lustig, is an emotionally immature and codependent manchild who treats Juno more like a friend and a peer than a minor whose security and emotional well being needed to be protected at all costs.
To say Mark’s relationship with Juno is inappropriate and unhealthy is an understatement. He’s a thirty something year old man and as the movie progresses, he appears to go out of his way to conceal the fact that he’s spending more time with a pregnant sixteen year old girl, from his wife Vanessa. This would naturally raise red flags for anybody. It’s hard to tell conclusively whether Mark is actually a predator or if he simply hasn’t grown up yet and his only real crime is that he doesn’t understand the issue with what he’s doing. Mark unintentionally creates a scenario where Juno has to carry the burden of their broken “friendship” towards the end of the film. All of that pressure and devastation so carelessly put onto the shoulders of a pregnant young girl just so that you can feel like a cool kid reliving your youth is diabolically selfish and wreaks of mental illness.
It’s revealed later on in the film that Mark isn’t really interested in being a father at all, but it becomes clear that he only agreed to have children with Vanessa so that she wouldn’t leave him. People like Mark assume that if they’re not ready for some big commitment like raising a child, they’ll just magically get used to the idea and learn to be okay with it somehow. The sad thing about Mark is that by not letting his wife go and allowing her to find a more compatible partner, he is essentially wasting her time. Think about the amount of emotional investment and self-sacrifice involved in a relationship that meant nothing and went nowhere. How frustrated would you be if you couldn’t get what you were looking for out of that relationship? Would you feel duped or disappointed or angry?
Instead of making well-informed decisions by doing a simple cost-benefit analysis, both Paul and Mark seem to always be living from one moment to the next. They are impatient, impulsive seekers of immediate gratification and so when they find themselves painted into a corner or a tough spot, they do all they can to wiggle free like a snake covered in melted butter or oil. I found myself wondering as I was watching the film, “What is the difference between what I think I want and what I actually want?”. “Can I spot the difference or am I just drifting like Mark Lustig?”. These are uncomfortable questions for me, but necessary ones too.
