We’ve all had people from our childhood we will remember for the rest of our lives. Mentors, family members, teachers, pastors and friends. Sometimes you might catch yourself staring off into space wondering to yourself “I wonder whatever became of him?”. Maybe that sparks enough curiosity to search facebook or instagram until you spot a familiar face from decade’s past or maybe they remain a memory without a continuation to their story. Out of many names of note from my past, a particular one stands out, John! At thirty-two years of age, I still remember that freckle faced redhead with the blank expression that seemed unphased by drama and had likely seen harder days than most his age. We were just kids that met in Elementary school. We were both angry boys finding our place in the world but John had a more troubled background.
I remember one day in class they pulled John out so the teacher’s assistant could explain to everyone his situation. We would come to understand that some kids had to learn how to depend on themselves because the adults in their lives left them to their own devices and that he was one such case, because his home life was less than ideal compared to the average childhood experience. Other kids avoided him because he swore alot and carried a negative demeanor about him. His behavior could be outrageous making him unpopular company. This was in the early 2000’s when times were very different. For whatever reason I gravitated towards John as I myself was quite an abrasive and unstable personality which pushed people away just the same, however I did not have the same upbringing that John did.
John’s older brother would beat him up and his father swore like a sailor, plus his mother and father were divorced. Looking back John’s family were possibly of a lower economic status as their townhome was a bit on the messy side and they seemed to favor pirating music and movies online, something which a “goodboy” like me could not fathom or see justification for. Every day after school, John would come over to my house and we would jump on my trampoline in the backyard for hours, talking about school and life and sometimes playing video games. I remember how John was the first one to introduce me to Eminem and I even remember hearing “My Name Is” for the first time from him, which turned me onto his music. This was very strange to me at the time since I had always known him to hate rap music and enjoy the heavier stuff alot more.
We would get into trouble together, one time throwing rocks at the metal statue in the front of the school until an adult came and talked to us about safety and how we were putting bystanders at risk. Another time, we walked into a Safeway grocery store after school and started knocking products off of shelves in the store for fun until one of the employees came and talked to us and asked us who our parents were. My parents tolerated John for a long time, but they were quite unimpressed with his fowl mouth and poor attitude. They had to remind him often to respect our house rules and “Stop Swearing”.
A day eventually came when John crossed a serious line and after years of being friends, my mom sent him home early during what was supposed to be a sleepover and declared that he was not allowed back at our house ever again. From that day forward I was told that we were not allowed to be friends anymore, but that would not be the end of John. Being the kid who wanted to please my parents, I obeyed them and stayed away from John, who then took this very personally and began to bully me. The bullying got so intense that we had to take him and his father to court and get a restraining order to keep him away and stay no contact. I also developed acid reflux from the stress of this bullying, which I still suffer from to this day.
Years later we would run into each other at the mall and start reconnecting briefly. He asked me to apologize to my brother and parents for him for his behavior. We had done things like replace my brother’s cereal with catfood and bullied him relentlessly. John had seemed to have matured quite a bit in the years since we had stopped hanging out. He became a skateboarder and we hung out maybe one more time but ultimately we didn’t maintain our connection long term. It’s now been well over a decade since we last spoke or saw each other and from time to time I’ll visit his facebook page. The once familiar redhead now seems balding with a receding hairline and recently a little blonde girl (presumably his daughter) has appeared in his photos. He now wears black framed glasses, which is a crazy new look for him. His profile now reads “Lives in Kansas City, Missouri”, eons away in time and space from Colorado Springs, where we both grew up. If I messaged him today would he remember me? I can’t say I care to know, I suppose I’d prefer to leave things off on the note we left them on. I’ll always remember that freckled faced angry child and hope that he now lives a better life these days. I also hope he thinks about me too, sometimes.
