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Obsessed With Self-Obsession Itself

I have never been more convinced that we are living in a culture that loudly celebrates narcissism while also claiming to be against it. Normally, I despise the accusation itself but since it’s for the greater good, I’m going to grant myself a one time exception, here. Something has happened in the last six years that has made “Narcissist” a very trendy word. But I look around me and I’ve never seen so many people interested in loony personality tests with flimsy scientific backing or people overidentifying with silly horoscopes or others still inventing new genders with highly specific pronouns you’ve never heard of. Narcissism, like the word "Nazi” or “Gaslighting” has been heavily devalued through overuse. Let’s not forget that Narcissism is a very serious personality disorder, not to be confused with occasional overconfidence in one’s self.

When “Being” Replaces "Doing”

The most tiresome thing when it comes to the actual narcissism of people is how they tend to find not one thing, but many things that make them “stand out”. It usually starts with taking a Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test telling them they’re an ISFJ, so they fudge one of the letters to claim “INFJ”. They then start going by “Ze”, “Zir” or “Xem” and every flaw of theirs under the sun can be explained away by the fact that they’re a pisces or whatever. It also turns out according to their 23&me DNA test that they’re 1/25th black and are now owed reparations, despite being the whitest motherfucker you’ve ever seen in your life. Of course, why bother doing anything great when you can just claim by virtue, that you are nothing less than perfect as a glorified diversity hire?

From nothing, comes nothing and so nothing they shall remain. The prevalence of such identities makes me think this is just a fad, a trend and a sign of the times. Not a genuine “Revolution”, because Millenials are a generation that wanted to be something that mattered, but they never could figure out what that something was supposed to be, so they simply invented things to be mad about. It’s been a real tragedy since the early 2010’s with no signs of stopping or slowing down. So many of them have climbed onto the backs of the downtrodden from previous generations, trying desperately to fall into their boots, but those shoes were too heavy for them to lift and they could not fit! How does such a weak generation manage to run this world?

I was shocked to have the MBTI presented to me in my college courses, not once, but on two separate occasions. In one of my therapy group sessions, horoscopes were discussed for a whole hour by the group coordinator. A world seemingly consumed by mythology and pseudoscience. For such a supposedly fact based curriculum, it feels like “The Oppression” narrative is shoehorned in quite excissively, is it any wonder why so many these days are searching for answers to satisfy their egos? It seems post modernism is used to redefine reality in order to avoid facing it. It’s not enough that they believe, you must also believe, otherwise you are a “bigot”.

Their sense of identity which they care so much about, especially as it relates to gender is not on solid ground. It is a continuously fluctuating experience, which even they will admit to. It would be one thing if they believed what they wanted to but without insisting that you conform to their perspective on life, but by trying to bully you into seeing things their way, they are contradicting the very post modernist ideology that allows them to shape shift their sense of identity in the first place. If you’re allowed to see things differently, then why not I? Their identity exists as a social construct alone, which means that they must convince as many people as possible to believe in it so that they can be taken seriously with how they identify. Once again, we come back to narcissism; the twisting, bending and manipulation of facts through ideology to assume formlessness as a way of satisfying one’s desire to be unique and special.

Who cares about being successful when you can redefine what success actually means? By changing the rules of the game, you give yourself permission not to play it but still somehow “win”. Any couch slouch living with their parents or camping out under a bridge can justify their own failure to themselves and use that as a way to avoid self-improvement or aspire to greater things for themselves and their future. You are not homeless, you’re “On an Adventure”. You are delusional and grandiose and your sense of self-importance has made you weak to criticism and rational analysis. Your fragile sense of self-worth constantly hinges on the approval of others. You may get your way in the end, but people who think like you rarely find genuine happiness in life.

Outgroup Theory

Ideology is not a protected class, but these straight, white, cisgender folks scramble to be seen as minorities just the same as their ethnic minority counterparts. In a world where being straight, white or cisgender is so heavily demonized and stigmatized, a way must be invented for them to fit in. They have their fashionable brand of “oppression” that they can signal to those around them. They claim minority status on the basis of their ego, because identity is more important than action or character.

This tells us something about what these people truly value, when we look at their priorities. For those who are ethnic minorities that participate in these mind games, they are afforded the opportunity that their caucasian counterparts wish they had, which is to grab at more labels to attach to themselves. Like an overweight person at a buffet, they want it all. Every last claim to victimhood. Another label that our fashionable victims of society like to wear is “Empath”, which is not any kind of scientifically recognized term that I’ve ever seen in any psychology textbook or even through online searches.

This word has gained heavy traction on social media over recent years and as far as I can tell, simply means that one has empathy, which is in no way unique or special, as most people generally do. While Elaine Aron’s research on the phenomenon of HSP’s (Highly Sensitive People) is indeed interesting, thre are simply too many people claiming it as a trait of theirs for it to hardly be considered “special” or “rare”. Most of the signs of HSP could be attributed to autism. In either case, the egotists are happy to claim the label anyway.