For me, the most exciting part of life is the journey from yesterday to today. The door between my youth and my present and yes, even my future. Regardless of nostalgia I seem to have a growing appreciation for how much I can distance myself from my previous life by cutting as many of those ties as possible to build something that is hopefully superior.

Distance from the past symbolizes power, independence and freedom for me. Being birthed into a family that was already fractured and separated and then being adopted were all decisions that were made for me. Now that the ball of clay that represents my life and its trajectory is firmly in my hands, anything that I

am able to mold it into is a sign of my freedom and acknowledgement that I choose my own direction in life. I am not content to stay where I was put, instead I’d rather firmly plant my roots when and wherever I decide.

The further my journey takes me away from where I began, the happier I generally am! I imagine the choices I make which alter the direction of my life as “rabbit holes”. They go deeper and deeper, going further away from where the animal had originally started. Then another hole moving west to east to southeast to northwest. All over the map this rabbit goes never quite stopping or slowing down. A timeline is established over your whole lifetime. It is not a single movie but a series of sequels.

I can vividly imagine myself in a rocking chair in the front porch of my home at night, watching the stars at night as I drift off to music or some youtube. I am not an old man in this scene but just slightly older than I am today. Maybe by another 5-8 years at most. I am in good health and I have finally made the life for myself that I have always wanted. Memories of typing this in my journal themselves becoming an odd source of nostalgia. There is always something about the past worth romanticizing.

Years pass. More changes come and eventually retirement age hits. What then is the goal of life? Hard to say. I hope I am able to say in the end that I was able to find happiness and satisfaction out of this world before my time comes to pass. It is the best I can hope for as an entity who never asked to be born, but was fortunate enough to come into existence to enjoy this little ride called life.